Munchies
by Kakawot
Summary: The delivery boys from Petey's Pizza Parlour were used to delivering to strange places. But Lil' Pete had never delivered a whipped cream pizza to a blue police box standing in the middle of a park. - Slice of life fic -


Delivery boys from Petey's Pizza Parlour were used to delivering to strange places. People sitting on park benches, standing next to statues, and on one memorable occasion two boys had built a tree house and refused to come down. So Lil' Pete climbed all the way up there, balancing two pepperoni pizzas. Luckily the boys had been brought up well and gave him a good tip.

But all those peculiar locations dwindled away to nothing compared to the delivery to a park, one late Tuesday evening.

"Lil' Pete!" yelled his boss, called Pete as well (thus forever labeling him Lil' Pete). "Got a delivery for you – west end St. James Park."

"Park bench number 2?" questioned Lil' Pete as he collected the pizzas. His boss shook his head.

"No, somewhere else." He consulted his piece of paper, smudged with fatty fingers. "A police box, near the pond."

Lil' Pete was halfway out the door, but stopped abruptly. "A police box?"

Boss Pete impatiently waved his hand at the youth. "They used them to hold criminals. Looks like a blue telephone booth. Now move!"

"Yes Boss Pete," replied Lil' Pete and he hurried outside, skillfully zipping up his jacket against the evening chill with one hand while balancing two pizza boxes on the other. Within seconds his scooter was loaded up and purring softly, until he twisted the gas handle and a screeching rumble escaped the scooter.

It took Lil' Pete precisely twelve minutes to cover the distance from Petey's Pizza Parlour to the park. He ignored the signs which stated that he shouldn't use a motorized vehicle inside the park. He kept his eyes peeled for that weird police box. He laughed softly to himself while hunting it down. Had a criminal decided that he had the munchies?

There it was, standing silently next to the pond. Bright white letters confirmed that it was indeed a police box. Lil' Pete had never seen such a thing. It resembled a phone booth, but it was made from wood and closed all around.

But nobody was around to deliver the pizzas to. Usually, when delivering to a weird location, people stood around to actually deliver to. But the chilly Tuesday evening had chased everybody out of the park, save for someone walking their dog.

Then again, maybe the box was big enough to house one person, and that person was hungry enough to eat two pizzas and had chosen to take refuge inside the police box.

Lil' Pete parked his scooter next to the police box, got out the pizzas and rooted around the pizza box for a minute until he found the receipt.

He felt silly as he knocked on the wooden door. There was no answer. Not immediately, at least. It took ten seconds before the door opened and a man stuck his head out, revealing nothing of the interior of the box.

"Hello," said the man with a smile on his face, revealing white teeth.

"Good evening," greeted Lil' Pete back. He quickly looked at his receipt before looking back up at the man. He seemed to have a lot of hair. "Pizza delivery for… the Doctor."

"That's me. I should pay you now, right?"

"I'd prefer that, yeah. I've got-" he consulted the receipt, "one pizza funghi and one pizza topped with … fried eggs, squid, kiwi and whipped cream, apparently."

Lil' Pete read the bizarre list of toppings again, but the words refused to change. He looked back up at the Doctor, who nodded in agreement.

"Yep," he said, popping his 'p', "sounds about right. How much do I pay you?"

"32 Pounds and 50 cents, please." The Doctor finally stopped being a floating head and snuck his lithe frame between as small a crack in the door as he could manage, but still Lil' Pete caught a glance of something yellow-orange behind him. He closed the door behind him and reached inside the jacket of his blue suit. To Lil' Pete's astonishment he pulled out a enormous wad of bills. Even if they were all fivers that wad had to be worth at least a thousand pound. And how did it fit inside his jacket without showing a bulge?

"Oh, I'm never good at this," said the man as he flicked through the bills. He looked back up at Lil' Pete. "This _is_ 2011, right?"

Lil' Pete nodded, dumbfounded. The man continued wrestling with the bills for a few seconds until he blew out a sigh and said: "Hold on."

The man who called himself the Doctor opened the door again and leaned back inside. "Martha! Come here for a sec?"

His voice echoed inside the box and a distant female voiced answered: "coming!"

Things got even weirder when a second person appeared in the doorway. It had to be snug in there, but the woman involuntarily showed him a little more of the inside of the police box. It looked far more spacious than the exterior suggested, which shouldn't be possible.

"Doctor?" she asked, but as soon as she spotted Lil' Pete she seemed to realize the situation. With a small smile on her face she stepped outside and quickly closed the door behind her as well. Apparently there was a hush-hush agreement on the police box, because she kept her eyes fixed on Lil' Pete's face, looking for any kind of sign that he knew that this police box wasn't ordinary.

"We still have to pay him, but as you know-" began the Doctor while he handed her the wad of cash. She laughed a nice laugh and flipped expertly through the bills.

"How much is it?" she asked, and once again Lil' Pete told her the amount. She selected a 250-pound bill from the pile and handed it to him.

"Have you got anything smaller?" he asked, but she waved her hand at him.

"Keep the change," she said. Lil' Pete ogled at her. A 220 pound tip? That… was meant to buy his silence, he felt sure of it. And his silence, they had bought.

"Thank you! Here are your pizzas. Enjoy your meal and please, call Petey's Pizza Parlour next time you're in town!"

"We will, thanks," said the Doctor as he accepted the pizzas. Lil' Pete walked towards his scooter, but turned around in time to see them disappear inside the police box. As he had guessed, the inside was much bigger than the outside.

"Wow," he breathed, "I think I just delivered to aliens."

He started up his scooter and roared off into the evening, ready to make another delivery. Though hopefully not as weird this time.

* * *

><p>Inside the TARDIS the Doctor munched on his pizza.<p>

"You're right, this pizza place makes a great pizza funghi."

Martha wiped some whipped cream from the corner of her mouth before she replied: "I told you so."


End file.
